I’m tired of not being able to have a conversation with other women about wives treating their husbands well without women immediately commenting that it “works both ways.” When I say a wife needs to remember about looking after her man, there are comments and chuckles about women needing things too, and that if men were better at meeting their needs, wives would be nicer and sweeter. They just don’t get it. Obviously, there needs to be mutual care and attention, but that doesn’t make statements about what men need from women some kind of joke to be laughed at. And that’s what women do – they laugh at men’s needs.
My dear, sweet and wonderful husband was in a serious car accident three years ago, leaving him severely brain-injured and physically disabled. After two years of his being in several hospitals and rehab programs, hopes were crushed that I could bring him home to take care of him, and we finally had to put him in a long-term care facility. I just couldn’t fix everything the way I wanted it. Once I had finally accepted that we had to live apart, he passed away this year, and now I’ve lost him forever. We were married 29 years and my heart is broken.
Everything you tell women is true. The men aren’t the ones complaining. I followed your advice many years ago, and I was happier. I focused on just loving him and doing everything I could to make him happy and it made ME happy to do it. I would give anything to be able to hold him again, cook his dinner, wash his clothes or meet him at the door to tell him how glad I am that he is home. No one else seems to get this but you. And I’m sad that women are so taken with themselves that they can’t even shut up long enough to listen to a suggestion, because their first response is “it goes both ways.” I’m glad YOU don’t give up because, for all the women who ignore your advice, there are lots like me who take it and change our lives. Thank you for not being afraid to tell women they are wrong.
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