I am a stay-at-home mom. That was a decision I made long before I became a mom and before I met my husband.
When my husband and I were dating and talking about marriage, I clearly remember the day this topic came up. I said that after we were married and looking to buy a house, we would base the home price off his income only and not ours combined. That way when we had children, I could quit my full-time job to stay home with the kids and we could still afford the mortgage. His eyes got huge and he was quiet for a while. He said but we could buy a much bigger house if we both worked after having kids and that’s a lot of pressure to put on me to be the sole provider. I calmly explained I wasn’t having kids so I could pay to have someone else raise them. He thought about this for a couple of days and then said you’re right. He came from a broken home and was put in day care and he hated it.
Now, I am a happy mother of a 16-month-old son and I have been able to stay home with him from day one, but this has NOT been easy financially! There’s only one word to describe how we do this and it’s called SACRIFICE. We sacrifice something almost daily to do this. For example, we bought a small townhouse instead of a single family home. I don’t have a smart phone because it’s too expensive, we eat out on only special occasions, and we had to cut way back on hobbies. And the list could go on and on. But we enjoy the little things and it’s a small price to pay for the happiness we get from being together and knowing that this is such a short time to have these precious moments with our child.
What bothers me is when I hear other moms say things like “I’m lucky I get to stay home” or “We just can’t afford for me to stop working.” Luck has nothing to do with it. Again, it’s called sacrifice. Like you say over and over again on your program, there is ALWAYS a way.
Thank you Dr. Laura for being the biggest stay at home mom advocate! You helped me pick a wonderful husband who works hard for our family and you reaffirm daily that staying at home with my son is the best thing for us!