Dr. Laura:

I found out that my husband had been carrying on a two year affair.  I’d wondered for some time, as he had withdrawn from me, treated me differently, and we actually stopped making love.  I read your book “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” and realized how cruel I had been to this man who loved me unconditionally.  

My husband used to ask me if he could get a girlfriend and move her in, and I always thought he was joking.  I found out that his mistress believed that he and I were no longer together and that he was going to move her into our family home.  I guess men really are simple creatures and say what they actually want.  Wives, like me, choose to believe whatever we want.  

I made many horrible mistakes with my husband.  What a stupid woman I was.  I had a man who showered me with affection, adoration and love.  I left to go home to my parents when I found out about the affair, but after a few days went home to talk.  My husband was transparent and answered all my questions.  I told him for the sake of our 10 year old that we could make it work for the next eight years, and if nothing changed, we’d be done.  When I told him I was not okay with his continuing any relationship with another woman, he said that’s all I had to say.  It’s only been a few weeks, but I’ve noticed a big difference in his affections toward me, and I’ve changed in the way I treat him.  He said he still has a girlfriend, but now she is also his wife.

Deanna

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