The question of how to regain trust in a relationship after cheating is not an easy one to answer. If it was, couples would hop over the issue of adultery as if it was nothing and get back to being in love and close again. Cheating is an intense betrayal and it can damage the relationship forever if the couple allows it to. You have to be present and engaged if you want to rebuild the broken bond of trust. If you're not fully committed to it, the relationship just will not survive.
Understanding how to regain trust in a relationship after cheating begins with talking about what happened, why it happened and what measures will be taken to ensure it does not happen again. These are not going to be easy conversations but they are necessary conversations. You must sit down with your spouse and you both have to agree to be as honest as you can be. Talk about what happened and where the adulterous relationship stands now. You both have to come to terms with why one partner cheated and what can be done now to strengthen the relationship so that is not going to happen again.
Rebuilding trust has to include being more accountable for your time if you're the person who cheated. Your partner is bound to have doubts about what you're up to since they've now discovered you were unfaithful. That's understandable and it's important that you respect and respond to their questions. It's incredibly helpful to be more available to your partner so they never have to doubt what you've told them. If you say you're going out with friends, take your phone and answer when they call. If you claim to be working late, ensure that he or she is able to visit you at your workplace after hours. Calming your partner's doubts in you has to be at the top of your priority list.
You both need to expect that the next few months will be filled with lots of tears, frustration and anger. Healing after an affair is a process that takes time. By staying on a path of open communication and close contact you'll be able to bridge the distance that is now between you and come through this stronger and more committed to one another than ever before. An affair is often a relationship changer and it can be for you too. You can use this as a springboard to really show your partner how much you love and need them.
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