I am a single, divorced woman at 42 years of age with no kids and I’ve made an interesting observation… A large percentage of my same-age girlfriends with children who divorced their kids’ Dad and subsequently dated multiple men or remarried and had new children would often tell me during those years how “resilient” their kids were and how amazing their kids were being during all the changes and upheaval in their young lives.
These women are now experiencing major stress and trauma with these same “resilient” children that are now teenagers. It seems to start around age 14. The problems include drug use, suicide attempts, skipping class in high school, running away, dropping out of college, cursing out their parents, DUIs, stealing, etc.
On the other hand, a large percentage of my same-age girlfriends with children who have remained married to their kids’ Dad or focused intently on parenting and did not date or party after a divorce, do NOT have these kinds of problems with their teenagers. They have the usual sullen, pouty teenager who occasionally rebels and comes in past their curfew, but NONE of the traumatic experiences listed above. Hmmm….what could possibly be the common denominator here??