I was in a 14 year marriage where I was verbally and emotionally abused, and also with threats from him to kill me and then himself with a gun. Several times during that marriage we separated, but my “x” always said the right thing to make me take him back. I always thought he would change. Silly I know.
I am a professional woman and struggled with the idea of going to counseling. Finally one day, I took the opportunity to go to a counselor through a program at work. After 45 minutes with this counselor, she handed me paperwork on domestic abuse. I couldn’t understand why she gave it to me. I took it home, and after I read through the information, I realized 75% of what I read was my daily life. From that day forward, I knew there was no one who could help me break away from the abuse but myself. I spent 3 more months in counseling and one day in June of 2002, I asked for a divorce. Needless to say, he was shocked. He had lost control of me.
I will never forget one thing he said to me. “You are not the same person you used to be.” My response was, “And I will never be that person again.” I had gotten stronger and realized I was not stupid, an idiot, worthless, a c— as I heard so many times. Never would I have to hear him say, “Married life sucks. I want a girlfriend. I want to be single.” He got his wish. With that said, 6 years later I wanted to give back to those who helped me and I trained to become an advocate for A Safe Place in New Hampshire and run weekly support group meetings for women who are currently in an abusive relationship or are out and trying to move forward in life. It is the pinnacle of my week!