I, like you, only have one son. He was raised in Santa Barbara. I changed careers so I could be a stay-at-home mom until he entered 1st grade and then worked in a career that gave me flexibility. My husband also worked a schedule where we never had to leave him in a day care situation.
Having been raised in a home with a very critical mother I decided to go the opposite direction and show my son love and lots of encouragement and praise. If I did anything “wrong” it was trying too hard to be the “perfect” mom that I always wished I had. I think too much attention to your children is also not healthy. Even though he was a very hard worker, great student and athlete and now a very successful adult, I think because of the way we raised him he is a bit self-centered. He is in a career that is very demanding and he does excellent there, but I notice he is so type A and career focused that he doesn’t have as much time for his family or even himself as would be healthy. I may have inadvertently helped create an overachiever.
I guess we all just do the best we can with the knowledge we have at the time. I think people that were raised in dysfunctional homes go the extreme one way or the other.
Take care and keep up the good work!