Dear Dr. Laura,
Twenty-three years ago, I married the man I love. I chose wisely. He’s honorable, kind, loving, hard working and a wonderful father to our children. He still treats me like his new bride. We’re one of those couples who are so happily married and close. People often tell me how lucky I am. This has nothing to do with luck. It’s true that he’s such a man of honor, I could’ve been a crappy wife and he’d probably stay around because of our vows and his sense of duty to our children. But early on, I’ve lived by a motto-“I’d rather be adored than endured”. I’m not perfect-I have bad moods and faults like most people. But I love to make him happy. I love to take care of him. I pick up his dirty clothes every morning, and make sure he has clean clothes to wear. This may outrage feminists, but I love to wait on my husband at meal and snack time, and clean up after him. He’d do anything I asked him to do to help, but I rarely ask because it’s one of the ways I show my love and appreciation for him. I like our home to be a haven. I try to make sure he comes home to a tidy house and a wife and children who are happy to see him. I make special efforts to look nice for him. I often give him foot massages when he gets home from work and back massages as he drifts off to sleep. He works so hard to provide for us. I regularly tell him how much I appreciate the way he takes care of us, and admire the man he is. He’s a man who loves sports and although I don’t, I make sure he has time to watch them or play them because I know that helps him relax from his work.
I understand his sexual needs, and do my best to meet them. I’m thrilled he’s so attracted to me that he wants me so much after 23 years. I love to see that look in his eyes. And though I may not be in the “mood” nearly as much as he is and at times feel tired-I take it as an opportunity to show him how much I love him and love being close to him. I’d never want him to think his desire for me is a nuisance.
And I, as his adored wife, have a husband who treats me like a princess. He loves to make me happy. He never complains if dinner isn’t cooked or the house isn’t cleaned, etc. He supports and encourages me in whatever I want to do. He tells me how much he loves me and shows appreciation for the things I do. He opens doors for me, pulls out my chair, is my valet in rain, and takes care of anything heavy, smelly, yucky, creepy or scary. And yes, I have no doubt he’d lay down his life for me.
I’m so saddened by all the calls from women who think being a great wife is a burden, and treat their husbands like the opposing team. Sadly, I’ve known many women like that, and good men who were treated badly and unappreciated. I don’t know why any woman would rather be endured than adored. I love being adored by my husband.
Gaye, an adorable wife