Dr. Laura (a.k.a. Mama Laura),
The call from Sarah who often wishes (now hopefully wished) she never had children really resonated with me.
I wouldn’t label my mother a psychopath, but I would accurately describe her as self-centered and selfish. The only praise my biological sister and I received from her was our good grades because her friends would literally say, “How did you guys turn out so good with a mother like her?”
Nice friends, huh?
My mother also gambled away our family finances so there was always something to be desired when it came to my sister’s and my needs. Our NEEDS! Growing up I remember my friends teasing me because I would come to school with holes in my clothes.
My mother also pretty much stopped being a mother when my older sister entered high school and I was still in middle school. To this day my mother will defend that decision with my sister and I were old enough to raise ourselves. She was off for many weeks at time gambling away my father’s hard-earned living.
Now fast forward over a decade and I have an 18-month-old. Right after he was born – when it was easier because he slept all day – I adored him. Now that he’s at the stage of constantly pushing and testing my husband and me, I, too, often think how I wish I hadn’t had kids yet.
I know in my heart it’s because right now it’s hard and some of my mother’s neglect and laziness is coming through, but the thoughts still come.
When I read the description of Sarah’s call of the day my breath caught in my throat and I almost didn’t listen to it out of fear. But I’m glad I did because you basically stated that Sarah (and I) feels what she is doing is not valuable because Sarah (and I) did not feel valuable.
You basically said every morning when Sarah (and I) gets up to compliment ourselves for the wonderful deed we’re doing. You also told Sarah (and me) to look at her child and you asked her (and me) if she really couldn’t live with that.
That was the point in the call where I started to cry because there was no way in hell I could be without my son.
Thanks for shining the light on how important and valuable motherhood is, despite the lack of the example in our own homes!
You are Mama Laura!